Sonnet 6

And here I recorded the closing of a chapter, though I didn't know it at the time. In fact, I sincerely believed we would be reconciled. An excruciating final page.


Alone

I cannot now believe in what I knew
that life would never change – a year before –
that I would be a soul complete with you,
that we would be together evermore.
For when I took the band that bound me to
the oath I gave with joy and hopeful heart,
resolving – always – faithfulness to you
I trusted, fearing lest that joy depart.
Now I live each day in hope’s despair –
old words and warmth in gift-book covers linger –
and speak my heart to one who isn’t there –
the glass no longer clinks against my finger.
But I resolve, no matter what you do,
To keep my oath of faithfulness to you.


I haven't written much since, but not for lack of inspiration. I remarried, and my wife and three children bring me a joy I had not known. When I get around to writing again, it will be to capture the essence of the happiness and pain that have gone into nurturing a maturing marriage and family.

Sonnet 5

I don't remember exactly when I wrote this or what was going on at that point, but this marriage got off to a rocky start and never did get much better, so it was probably in the first year. Apparently I had been accused of not really loving her. This was my response.


A Husband's Protest

Dark mutt'rings sometimes creep from shadowed thoughts
that love, though often steady in its light,
must flicker in my breast, too weak for aught,
when Time's cool breath expires in winds of spite;
for, in my mortal state of otherwise
dim feelings groping in a shutter'd heart,
the flame kept there for you at most belies
the darkness that surrounds this brighter part.
But despair not the frailty of this light
against the draughts that waft through chambers dim --
its strength is not alone of this poor wight,
but God protects a flame, once sparked by Him.
And as I vowed my faith to God and you,
so does He aid me always to be true.

Poem: The Wedding

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. It's not a sonnet, and not one of my better poems, but it is a part of the story, so I included it here.


It's hard to know what thoughts you mind when promising to give your life
to make it one with that of he who fain would ever call you wife.
How can one know the feelings flowing through the rivers of your heart?
One only guesses at the flood that even he may see but part.

The spinning hours between each beat bring anxious care your heart may burst,
for Patience will not beg your hand when Giddiness has wed you first.
But he is calm and laughs when friends extol marriage and all its causes
and paces "just to pass the time" and only trembles when he pauses.

A step, a chord, a mother's tear, and side by side two spirits stand
with swollen hearts and nectar smiles, twain lovers lightly hand in hand.
A thousand heartbeats pass and you at last give loving voice your part:
in Godly song, "I do," spoken true, rings not from words, but from the heart.

Sonnet 4

I wrote this poem when I moved back to my hometown and prepared to begin what I thought was a lifelong journey with my soul mate. I'd been gone a year, and the private university I was attending was way too expensive, but that wasn't my primary reason for transferring to a university in my home town.

To My Love Upon Returning from College

The dew blankets the quiet morning now
like fire from creeping dawn, and clouds cold, white
and still belie the long, hope-drenching row
they thundered overhead that coal-dark night
we were apart. Today the hours we spend
together touch your cheek like morning rays
among the shading leaves of life and lend
their moments of light to ever brighter days.
And brighter still, the path that winds ahead
to denser distance, hiding future bends
that, walked with you, no matter where it led
would be for me my heart's desired end.
For time, which was my torment once before,
with you is now my joy forevermore.

Sonnet 3

In this poem, I tried to convey the joy of a visit home, in which I would spend every possible moment with the one I loved.

Visiting Home from College

This road I travel cuts its barren lanes
through one-church towns it rends like glaciered hills,
while minutes bear as Sunday bullet-trains
through shadowed valleys creeping forest fills.
And I rush t'ward your waiting arms like death
to meet the welcome smiles my visits bring --
where dew gleams in the city's dawning breath,
where grand cathedral choirs in sunsets sing.
For, though this journey's short in time and space,
and food and rest my fervent toil require,
my thoughts are ever turned from tasks I face
to dwell upon that heart I most desire.
Wherever I may stray, whatever do,
is less important, far too far from you.

Sonnet 2

While I was away at college, I would write to my sweetheart daily, and my visits home were more frequently to her than to my own family. In this poem I continued the metaphor of the storm for my lonely time away from the one I loved.


Down Pour

Beneath downpouring days, I trudge my thoughts
in search of rest from hope-eroding hours
that gathered in the clouds of choices wrought
and now rush thickly from those gloomy tow'rs.
And with each step, I stumble with my fears
as lonely moments crash before my eyes
and rumble sorrow though my straining ears,
redoubling Time's cruel storms my love defies.
But on I struggle through the blinding roar,
sustained by knowledge of your biding heart,
reminded of the love we shared before
and will again when no longer apart.
For, just beyond the darkness and the hours,
I feel my outstretched hand still clasped in yours.

Sonnet 1

William Wordsworth said poetry is "...emotion recollected in tranquility." The following poem begins an arc which starts at the beginning of a long-distance dating relationship that ended with me returning home after a year and marrying the girl, and continues through a waning marriage to its end. Very painful for me, but I hope enjoyable for you.

I have always been a formalist poetically, and like Shakespeare, so I thought the sonnet would make an excellent vehicle for my romantic feelings.


To My Love Upon Leaving for College

A warning dawn leaks sanguine through my mind
with brewing threats of swiftly rolling hours,
with flashes of the sadness we shall find
when time pours down on mine and yours, not ours.
And closer than feels safe the rumblings sound
out dolor for two hearts, haplessly marked
to be beneath those loudly pitch days drown'd,
or lose themselves in gusts of love unmarked.
But we would fain these rueful winds defy
by crescent hope rooted in certainty
that weath'red storms will love intensify,
that time will water our magnan'mity.
Each drop of time upon my lonely brow
will, to its torment, watch my fondness grow.